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Advice from a Guy in Tights

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This is a Guy in Tights. He get paid when you ask for his help. Get to it.

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Have a question for the Guy in Tights himself? Go ahead and submit it here! You may have it answered on this webpage, so check back soon!

Name to be recognized by:
Select your favorite color out of the following three:
Question for the Guy himself:
  

Specific questions/answers to/from the Guy in Tights (form above):
 
Q: If you were lost on an uncharted islnd and you only could bring 5 material possesions, what would you bring? -Adam
A: A floor tom, an eggbeater, a shoehorn, a blue ballpoint pen and a pair of gardening gloves. Oh, and my tights collection. Do items your wearing at the time of the uncharted island-ing count? -Guy in Tights
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Q: So hows life? -Jacab
A: I LOVE YOU. -Guy in Tights
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Q: Now that im 60 in WOW what do I do? -That One Guy
A: Wow? Wow what? Now that I'm 60 in WOW THAT'S A BIG FLY what do I do...? Now that I'm 60 in WOW THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT YOGURT what do I do...? Please be more specific in teh future. -Guy in Tights
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Q: The site is awesome! How do you like being a supa star? -Pheonix
A: Why, thank you. And its alright, could use more butter. -Shankshon
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Q: What in the heck is a LUBE?!?! My friend says it all the time and I don't know what it is. -Chris
A: That's right, kids! Write your local congressthing! Give money to poor people! Run around in the street wearing the hottest '80s fashions while videotaping yourself! All for low-to-no prices! -Guy in Tights
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Q: HOW DO U MAKE VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE! -Dragonkeeper
A: Me? How do I make videos on YouTube? Maybe you should just wait and see. -Guy in Tights
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Q: How do you blow up a building? -Anonymous
A: Just... use you're imagination, okay? -Guy in Tights
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Q: Why do you where tights? -Anonymous
A: Why do you live with ur mom? -Guy in Tights
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Q: How do I do my homework? -Will
A: Feed it to you're dog. -Guy in Tights
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Q: When will I die? -George
A: In seven days. Get over it. -Guy in Tights
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Q: Hello! This is nifty. :] -Oliver
A: I know, totally. -Guy in Tights
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Q: My friend keeps sending me emails. How do I make him stop? -Ur Mom
A: Maybe if YOU stopped emailing HIM, HE would have to stop replying to YOU! -    -Guy in Tights
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Q: Do you like cheese and how tight are you're tights? -Kamikaze Watermelon
A: Yes, my favorite cheese is parmesan, especially on a bed of fried rice and melty marshmallows. Currently, my tights are VERY tight. -Guy in Tights
 

Random bits of advice:

"No, THE IMPENDING is not a plan on world domination. At least I dont think it is..."
 
"If your friends jumped from a bridge would you follow them? Well, if you jumped from a bridge would they follow you?"
 
"If at any time you find yourself in a situation of disillusion, break glass. And by that I mean ALL THE GLASS IN THE VICINITY."
 
"Hey, how's it going, my names Jef, I'm your waiter. I'm dressed in all black, you can call me Darth Vader."
 
"If I had a hammer..."
 
"This holiday season, give the gift that won't stop giving back: soup."
 
"Send this to ten people and I will appear at your house!"
 
"When you cant have it all, take it anyways."
 
"Life is like a vat of ice cream: before you know it, your down to the old, hard stuff that does'nt have any fudge swirls or anything."
 
"NEVER run shinfirst into a wall. Kneefirst is okay, but NEVER shinfirst."
 
"Farts thrive in heat."
 
"Sugar + caffeine = one serious explosion."
 
"When faced by a situation including a wrench, chicken feed and a little kid named Ron Whosenwhosat, get the hack outta there!"
 
"Everyone needs a hug sometimes... but not ALL the time!"
 
"I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves..."
 
"The whole thing with Dad's lucky chair is just a promotional scam. So go sit down, for heckel's sake!"
 
"Food was meant for throwing."
 
"They say that the only things that you need to survive are food, water and shelter. They're wrong. Xbox and Funky Fighters cards fall under that category, too."
 
"Finding what you seek may not be as easy as it sounds. So be patient... or just try the internet."
 
"A quarter found is a quarter earned. But a quarter chucked at that weird guy down two rows is a quarter never wasted!"
 
"Elbow grease will only get you so far. Try spit shine."
 
"If you look deep inside, you will find great strength. But don't go past the small intestine."
 
"Everybody has something to share. You have you're obsession with my advice, and I have my tights collection."
 
"No, I'm not a superhero."
 
"When somethings got you down, look at the bright side! Just dont go over to the dark side."
 
"Dont eat the yellow snow."

-Insert funny catchphrase here-

Everything on this site is copyright (c) 2005-2010 Nick Emard; Frostbite Studios.
Five years and counting!