"No, THE IMPENDING is not a plan on world domination. At least I dont think it is..."
"If your friends jumped from a bridge would you follow them? Well, if you jumped from a bridge would they follow you?"
"If at any time you find yourself in a situation of disillusion, break glass. And by that I mean ALL THE GLASS IN THE
"Hey, how's it going, my names Jef, I'm your waiter. I'm dressed in all black, you can call me Darth Vader."
"If I had a hammer..."
"This holiday season, give the gift that won't stop giving back: soup."
"Send this to ten people and I will appear at your house!"
"When you cant have it all, take it anyways."
"Life is like a vat of ice cream: before you know it, your down to the old, hard stuff that does'nt have any fudge swirls
"NEVER run shinfirst into a wall. Kneefirst is okay, but NEVER shinfirst."
"Farts thrive in heat."
"Sugar + caffeine = one serious explosion."
"When faced by a situation including a wrench, chicken feed and a little kid named Ron Whosenwhosat, get the hack outta
"Everyone needs a hug sometimes... but not ALL the time!"
"I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves..."
"The whole thing with Dad's lucky chair is just a promotional scam. So go sit down, for heckel's sake!"
"Food was meant for throwing."
"They say that the only things that you need to survive are food, water and shelter. They're wrong. Xbox and Funky Fighters
cards fall under that category, too."
"Finding what you seek may not be as easy as it sounds. So be patient... or just try the internet."
"A quarter found is a quarter earned. But a quarter chucked at that weird guy down two rows is a quarter never wasted!"
"Elbow grease will only get you so far. Try spit shine."
"If you look deep inside, you will find great strength. But don't go past the small intestine."
"Everybody has something to share. You have you're obsession with my advice, and I have my tights collection."
"No, I'm not a superhero."
"When somethings got you down, look at the bright side! Just dont go over to the dark side."
"Dont eat the yellow snow."